Some reflections from my walk today.
Hi {{ first_name | friend }},
It's November 5, and I've been thinking about something that's been bothering me for the past few days.
I enjoy helping people.
Whether it's a friend who needs something arranged, someone asking for advice, or an organization trying to launch a new project, I usually do my best to help.
But lately, I've been questioning whether I'm spending too much time and energy trying to make things happen for other people.
When helping becomes too much
For the past few weeks, I've been involved in organizing a training programme.
I've spent quite a bit of time planning, preparing, reaching out to people, and trying to get things moving.
There has been some interest, but not enough confirmed participation to run the programme as we originally planned.
And I'm still trying to make it happen.
Part of me wants to continue because I believe in the programme and have already invested so much effort.
Another part wonders what I could have done with that time if I'd invested it in my own projects, writing, or family.
It's not that I regret helping.
But I'm beginning to realize that sometimes I take more responsibility for other people's projects than I should.
Would I give myself the same advice?
There's an interesting psychological concept called Solomon's paradox.
Researchers have found that we often reason more wisely about other people's problems than our own.
Mel Robins and Adam Grant were discussing this in their recent podcast as well;
I can relate to that.
If a friend told me they were spending weeks trying to launch a project without enough commitment from the people involved, I'd probably tell them to reconsider.
But when it's my own situation, it's much harder.
There's also the sunk-cost fallacy, which describes our tendency to continue something because we've already invested time, money, or effort in it.
And I keep asking myself:
If I were starting from zero today, knowing everything I know now, would I still take on this project?
I'm not sure.
Learning where to put my energy
I don't want to stop helping people.
Helping others, sharing knowledge, and contributing to meaningful projects are important to me.
And I don't think every activity needs to bring an immediate personal benefit.
But I also have my own responsibilities, goals, and projects.
There's only so much time and energy available.
Maybe I need to become better at setting expectations, sharing responsibilities, and recognizing when something isn't moving forward.
I haven't made a final decision about this particular project yet.
But I'm realizing that stepping back from something doesn't always mean giving up on it.
Sometimes it simply means accepting that the current approach isn't working.
And making room for something else.
That's what I'm thinking about today.
See you in the next one!
Selim
